Rethinking Proactivity

Recently, I watched Hank Green’s video, “No One Knows When They Don’t Die.” The title was cryptic enough that I skipped it the day it dropped, but a few days later I watched it—and I’m glad I did. It made me think about something that’s been lingering in the back of my mind for years: the myth of proactivity.

Don’t get me wrong. Being proactive sounds noble—wise, even. Anticipate problems. Prevent disaster. Choose your future. Win big prizes.

But in practice, proactivity is at worst weaponized or at best hollowed out. And I want to examine that.

When Proactivity Becomes a Blame Game

At work, I used to hear a lot about being proactive. My boss demanded I anticipate issues in order to safeguard against the preventable. So I did. One major example: I installed a revision control system on our web server—something we hadn’t had before. Management agreed it was useful in theory, but they didn’t like that it added an extra step or two in the production process. I was trying to be proactive. I kept identifying risks and stepping in early to stop problems before they escalated. I built systems that added a few seconds to the development process—but saved us from possible catastrophe.

And what happened?

I got told my system was slowing things down. That we needed to move faster. That testing could wait. Then, one day, a senior developer ignored the version control system entirely and accidentally deleted over a thousand customer websites. I caught it. I reported it. I even found the path to a fix. But the backup would take days, and he hadn’t used the safety system I’d pushed for. The safety system that would have allowed us to back out his changes in a few moments.

Guess who cleaned up the mess? Me. Not because I caused it, but because I reported the issue and I wasn’t a senior developer. The senior developer could ignore protocols and break customer-facing systems and face no repercussions. While I was stuck answering pissed off customers while I manually restored their websites. Proactivity was the hill I was asked to climb—but never the one that got me recognized.

That was the day I stopped seeing proactivity as a virtue. Or at least, not the virtue.

So What Is Worth Doing?

Here’s where I want to shift.

I don’t want to throw away the idea of being proactive. But I do want to question who benefits when we are. And I want to create a version that is kinder and more realistic.

Proactivity shouldn’t be about pretending we have control over everything. It shouldn’t be a badge of honor or a trap we set for ourselves. And it definitely shouldn’t be a stick we beat people with.

Maybe it’s about being present with ourselves, noticing patterns, and giving ourselves grace.

Maybe it’s about asking, what small thing can I do today that supports the me I am right now, not just the me I hope to be?

Maybe it’s not about saving the system. Maybe it’s about saving our sanity.

So no, I don’t believe in the cult of proactivity. But I do believe in thoughtfulness. In compassion. In recognizing when the system is broken—and choosing to be human anyway.

That’s the kind of future I want to build. Slowly. Gently. Intentionally.

And maybe that’s proactive enough.

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