We’ve all been told to be proactive—at work, with our health, in life. But what happens when the systems we rely on punish that effort or make it harder to care for ourselves in the moment? In this personal reflection, I explore the gap between the idea of proactivity and the lived reality of trying to plan ahead in a world that doesn’t always reward it. Maybe the answer isn’t more hustle—but more kindness.

Deciding to quit is tough for me. I was raised to believe that winners never quit. But in just the last few years I’ve realized that quitting things that aren’t working works for me.